I got a sourdough starter from my sister last week. I was so excited! Fresh organic sourdough baked goods that I don’t have to purchase many miles and a lot of minutes away from home, count me in!
Or so I thought.
I immediately made cookies. Well not immediately. If you know anything about sourdough then you know that you can’t just decide to make something, whip it up, and pop it in the oven. But over the next 24 hours, I made cookies! They didn’t necessarily taste like cookies, they were more like muffins, but regardless, they were pretty decent. As an avid baker, I was content with my first attempt. In that 24 hour time period I was researching all things sourdough and trying to learn how to keep the little bugger alive. How often do I need to feed it? How much do I need to feed it? What type of flour do I need to feed it? What do I do with the discard if I’m not baking? How often do I need to be baking? You know, just casual bread making questions.
The more I researched, the more confused I was. It seems like there is so much to learn! It also seemed like a lot of upkeep and another thing to add to my to-do list.
And so, what do you know, the sourdough starter jar sits in front of me right now very unwell, and quite possibly dead. (If you can even kill them?)
For a moment I was disappointed but then I almost felt relieved because this extra responsibility that I added to my life was no longer a part of my to-do list.
I realized in that moment that I am very content with making the hour long trip to a place where I can get organic sourdough bread and purchase a lot of it at once.
It’s so trendy right now to go in the direction of all things homesteading, and for good reason! I think it’s wonderful and I’m truly happy about it. But I also know that it’s a lot of work and it’s not for everyone. I would very much rather go to the farm and buy raw milk than to milk my own cows (or to even own cows). I would very much rather hit up the farmers market and have a tiny garden at home than to grow all of my own food. And I would very much rather go to the store and buy the organic sourdough bread than make my own.
And that’s okay.
It’s so easy to get caught up in what we “should” be doing or even what we might want to be doing. Because I still think that I do want to make sourdough of my own some day. But today is not that day.
This whole sourdough experience had me thinking and reevaluating things that I’m doing in my life. Are there other things that are a part of my to-do list that I’m doing because it’s a trendy thing on Instagram and I feel like I should do it? Or are there things that I’m doing that would be better suited for a different chapter of life that I could outsource for the time being?
My life is still not in a place of “normalcy” after my mold experience. The belongings that I was able to bring with me are packed away in my parents garage just waiting for a day when I am handed the keys to a home that my husband and I purchase. We aren’t even looking for said home currently. Not looking at all. (Which is a whole other story that will someday be told.) And so my life currently has a lot of moving parts. I don’t have a home to just settle into and to exist in. I’m here and then I’m there. I’m back and fourth. It feels like I’m constantly running around, packing my bags, and longing for stability that having a home brings. It’s been so long since I’ve had that. Basically 3 years!!
Combine the living circumstance with working full time at my “real job,” working on Holy Health, healing and getting my body healthy, and putting energy and time into all of the other aspects of life that we all experience I quickly realized that I’m not a sourdough crafter right now and that’s okay.
Maybe you’re in a spot where things are all jumbled up in your life too. We see these highlight reels of people making their beautiful breads and tending to their huge gardens while drowning in the day to day for whatever reason.
Instead of adding to our already full plates, outsourcing those things that we desire to have, and maybe even desire to do someday, is a beautiful thing. It supports others who are sharing with the world in that way and it provides space and ease in our own life to still enjoy the sourdough bread while not having that one more thing to add to our already overflowing to-do lists. We can’t do everything, especially when our plates are already as full as they are in this modern world.
I am not a homesteader right now and I’m not even trying to be one. I’m someone who loves to purchase things that helps me to create more space in my life because I need that more right now than I need the satisfaction of making my own bread.
