I find it so interesting when others are so quick to insert their beliefs, perspectives, and curiosities onto others in this specific way.
The way that we (we as in society) act about pregnancy, birth, and everything in that realm is already problematic. We treat it like a medical condition and love to share horror stories and fears around all of it with pregnant women, especially. We put our noses into business that is not ours and it’s extremely insensitive. I’m not one to flutter around the truth or to be politically correct but there are some things that just simply aren’t your business unless the person brings it up to you. And telling someone that their “clock is ticking” is not appropriate.
The other night I was in a casual conversation with some people I know quite well. Mitch was there too. I honestly don’t even know how it got started because it completely caught me off guard, but however it happened, pregnancy was brought up.
Just to publicly clear the air (because I have no problem sharing this information on my terms) we are not trying to get pregnant right now. There is too much happening in our lives and I want to continue to work on my health before that happens.
In the conversation we both were adamant that pregnancy was not a part of our plan anytime soon. There was surprise to this news and I was told in a serious manner that my clock is ticking.
I just turned 30 in October and my clock is ticking.
I said, “that’s fine. Let it run out. Not interested in pregnancy anytime soon.”
Now, I understand where this sentiment comes from because not too long ago I also believed this. “Omg I’m going to be 30 and I don’t have kids yet.” Or, “I’m going to be too old to have kids.” You know, the standard ticking clock thoughts. And while I don’t want to be having kids super late in life, I have come to restructure my beliefs about health and this very topic. And since I have changed my beliefs and rewrote this story about how your 30s are a race to birth all of the kids that you desire before the dreaded clock runs out, it’s not so much that I care about this being said to me. It’s more so that I care about this being said to others who will believe it.
“Your clock is ticking” is a fearful sentiment. The person saying it to you is expressing their fear and urgency about the fact that your womb is empty. It’s like an explosive fear vomit right into your unsuspecting lap. It makes you feel as if you’re running out of time to have children. Maybe you’ve been trying to get pregnant and haven’t been able to yet. Or maybe you’ve miscarried. Or maybe you’re dealing with some health issues that you want to clear up before conceiving. Or maybe you’re just not ready yet. And then here it comes, someone saying this to you without knowing what’s going on (because it’s none of their business unless you share it with them) and that has a great potential to instill more stress, fear, and guilt into your body, which is the complete opposite of what you’re needing in that moment. Boom, a potential setback on your journey.
This definitely isn’t the only circumstance where this takes place. There are many statements that we are conditioned to believe that keep us stuck in limiting beliefs that are holding us back. Which means that, of course, this isn’t necessarily to blame the person speaking these words upon you. Ultimately it is our responsibility to root into our own beliefs and embodiment regardless of what others say. But many of us are either just beginning to do this type of work, or haven’t even recognized that it’s possible.
And so, a practice of going within, settling into deep trust of your Self and God, and remaining sovereign in your experience is the path. Building up resiliency to those who cast nasty spells your way without a true understanding of what they’re doing. Accepting where you’re at in your journey, even when it’s not ideal. Providing space in your life to process whatever it is that comes up. And leaning on trusted support along the way. These are the things help you to become bulletproof to the ticking clock clubs of the world.
You are much more powerful than you even know. Once you begin to tap into that divine power you understand that the words other speak onto you are not what have power, unless you give it to them. And you recognize that the true power from God comes through even stronger when you’re laser focused on your Self beliefs and knowings.
Let those be the ones that will guide you on your way.
