What's Love Got To Do With It?
Mitch and I invest a lot of time and energy into our relationship. It makes total sense from a logical perspective. Put more time into your relationship and you will reap the benefits. Just like eating healthy and working out. If you show up and eat healthy consistently or if you workout regularly your body will feel better and look better too. But I see how easily relationships can be pushed lower down on the priority list, just like diet and exercise.
Life is busy. Things happen. Arguments occur. Distance is felt. And maybe, just maybe, communication isn’t at it’s best.
Before we really get into it I would like to say that we don’t have kids. I am sure that kids throw a wrench into this concept to some extent. BUT, I also know of couples who have many kids and still prioritize this in whatever way they need to. You might just have to get a little more creative.
Anyways, the one thing that helps our relationship to thrive is date night every week.
Date night.
Yes. Every. Single. Week.
It sounds so cliche and even cheesy to an extent, but as I say when it comes to health and healing, it’s the simple things that move the needle the most.
The same is true in relationships.
And here come the excuses.
“We don’t have the time.”
”We don’t have the money.”
”Who would watch the kids?”
”There’s nothing to do in my town.”
”We’re so disconnected, that’s not going to help.”
”He/she thinks it’s a dumb idea.”
”Every week is too often!”
And so on.
Sure, you can see it that way or you can choose to see it differently. It’s your choice.
But at the end of the day, a regular date night is the ticket to success and if you want to make it happen, you’ll find a way. You don’t have to go to some fancy restaurant or on a weekend escapade. You can cook a meal together and have a picnic in the living room. You can go for a walk in the park. You can do literally anything, as long as it’s together… and as long as you’re present and not attached to your phone.
On this podcast episode I talk all about intention. And that’s partly where the magic comes from here. Because part of making something happen is having the intention to pursue it. If you and your partner intend to make date night happen then you’re well on your way to making it happen. But as I’ve thought about intention in terms of date night, there’s more to it than that. You can have the best intention in the world but if you don’t put things into action then you’re not going anywhere.
Intention and action.
Set the intention to do a weekly date night and then take the action to make it happen.
But why?
Because it gives you and your partner time to invest in the most important relationship in your life (other than the one with yourself and God), that’s the one with your partner.
This is your person. The person that you have committed to being with. You’re doing life together. You’re a team. The energy needs to be invested in that to keep things moving and grooving in all aspects.
And I get it, life is busy. All the more reason to make the time because I know that Mitch and I are not alone in getting through the weeks, doing all the things we need to do. We spend time together but we don’t spend time together. But when date night comes around we know what’s up. We’re spending time together reconnecting and rekindling the flame that lights our way in every aspect of life.
I look forward to our date night every single week. It’s exciting to me even if we’re not seemingly doing anything exciting. Time spent together is a gift and when it happens consistently then you consistently have something to look forward to - bringing that energy into the relationship leading up to date night, and bringing that energy into every other aspect of life that you touch too.
You and your partner are both steering the ship and if you’re not clear on where the ship is going or why it’s going there then you are destined to run into choppy waters.
Heck, some couples aren’t even in the same ship.
But if you’re having your weekly meeting (date night) then you know where you’re heading and you know that you’re heading there together. Connected. On the same page. In the same boat. And it’s not to say that choppy waters won’t arise, but if and when they do you’ll be better equipped to navigate them when you’re connected and on the same page.
It’s never too late to start this. I recognize that a lot of couples feel disconnected for whatever the reason may be. Oftentimes I see that one of them is waiting for the other one to make the first move. To say, “I’m sorry.” To say, “I miss you.” To say, “I’m struggling because xyz.” To say, literally anything that is on their heart and holding them back from getting back to a space where they feel the love and connection that was once displayed on the surface but has been buried under the heavy burdens of life.
I invite you to make the first move. To say what’s on your heart and to be open to receiving what is reflected to you. Once the door is opened, so much can come through.
Keep dating. Keep showing up for yourself and your person. Keep rekindling that flame so that is can show you the way.
And never stop leading with love.
