Don't Quit - Lessons From a 7 Mile Run
I went for a run today. Seven miles scheduled. I didn't think it would be too bad.
I was wrong.
But first, let’s back up. Yesterday Lily got sick again. I feel like I’m always saying that. It’s funny (not actually) because just a few hours before I was talking to my grandma and she asked how Lily was doing. I continued to tell her that we had her on a new diet and we were seeing great results from it. I went home and an hour later she was throwing up all over the place.
That immediately sent me into a spiral. Fear, stress, worry. I have been on a mission to figure out Lily’s health struggles basically forever. It’s been such a rollercoaster and I am ready to get us off of this ride and onto something a little more laid back like a merry-go-round or something.
I spent last night and this morning researching different options for guidance.
What’s our next step?
I don’t know what the next step is but I know there is one. I won’t quit looking until she is thriving.
This morning I set out for my seven miles. Marathon training has been fine. I don’t regret signing up for this next one, but I’m not jumping for joy about doing it either. It just feels like a thing I’m doing at this point.
And so, on Thursday’s I run my shorter run and that’s that.
I started off a little slow. I just didn’t feel like my body had the oomph it needed to keep propelling me forward. But regardless, forward I continued to go knowing that the first mile is usually not a party. I got 2 miles in and I was OVER IT. I was mad. When I get upset or things go wrong in my life, I experience a flood of anger. I very rarely get sad. I know why this is and I know what I need to do to solve it. It’s on my list. But as I’m running and mad I just feel like I can’t keep running anymore. I want to quit. I want to be done. I think of all of the reasons (excuses) as to why I should be done.
It’s hilarious when I feel like I’m in a creative slump but can simultaneously flood my mind with all kinds of ideas whenever I’m trying to get out of doing something. You feel me?
I stopped running at 2.5 miles, 3.5 miles, and 4 miles. I paused my watch and just stood there on the road, festering in my self pity and anger. And with each pause came the decision to begin again. To keep going.
After a while my watch hit 7 miles, I hit stop, and settled into the satisfaction of completing a task while recognizing the significance of it.
So many times we want to quit. Throw in the towel and just let it be what it is.
And yes, sometimes just letting it be is the right choice. But so often we are quick to reach that place. Things get hard. The journey is long. The questions have no answers. From there, we quit. We don’t see it through and explore what’s on the other side.
I only did 2 miles today, whatever. Some occasional tummy troubles and anxiety for Lily, that’s just how it’s going to be.
Acceptance of complacency and comfort is so normal.
If you choose to live that way, go for it. For me, I choose something different. I choose more.
The perseverance through that time is the magic. It is what instills growth within us. It is how we break cycles and get on the other side. It is everything.
All it requires is one simple commitment to yourself.
No matter what, just don’t quit.
